December 2011
I have no idea what time I’ll be getting off work but I just want to wish everyone a happy new year and Please Please Please be safe tonight
And she emerged from the dark like a ghost in my head. She said, “I haven’t forgot any words that you said. I just stare at the clocks and I cry in my sleep and I tear up your letters and I burn them in heaps and I gather the ashes in that hole in the ground where we fell”
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expectomotherfuckingpatronum:
my followers will hear about this
Parents aren't home on a friday night
normal people: throw a huge party, invite everyone, get out all the alcohol and make it a night to remember me: sing my favourite song at the top of my lungs, dance around like a slut, stay on the internet all night and eat all the food in my house.
I am so fucking sick of these normal people vs. me things.
The only fucking “Normal people” who do this shit are the people movies.
...
DON'T DRIVE DRUNK.
From 6pm-6am on New Year’s Eve/Day AAA will take your drunk self and your car home for FREE, member or not: 800-222-4357
This is not available everywhere in the US so make sure to contact your nearest branch and see if the services are offered in your area!
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we'd probably liveblog the end of the world
omg earthquake!!!!
ahh my mom just got hit by a rock omg!!!!
rip mommy u were a good bitch
flood is coming!!
omg water is in my house
nO NOT MY COMPUter
it's ok i have service on my phone guys
OMG MY SISTER IS DROWnING
aw a fireman is here
he's giving my sister mouth 2 mouth
i ship it omg
otp; i know how to save a life
whoa the earth is like breaking open
byE
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I'm not Tumblr famous.
Getting asks isn’t a regular thing, I still smile when I see Messages (1).
People don’t reblog me ASAP. Sure, I get reblogged 20 or 30 notes, if I’m lucky.
I don’t get asked for pictures of me.
People don’t ask me for requests.
I don’t have alot to offer.
most of my blog is 99.9% reblogs
i LOVE every little follower of mine
This whole “tumblr famous” is ridiculous.
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I am so fucking anxious about going into work tonight i don’t think anyone has any idea.
mirror-of-erised:
you know people really should go easier on david karp
i mean its not like he
banned links from asks
banned certain kinds of punctuation from asks
banned enter keys from asks
gave asks a word limit
limited the number of asks you can send an hour
TWICE
took away wrapped tags
gave us a new dashboard design that no one liked
has been trying unsuccessfully for months to...
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Anonymous asked: I can see why you love Olivia so much. She is SOOOOOO inspiring and beautiful, must like you:'-)!!!!!Olivia and Mary forever!!!
Anonymous asked: Oh, right. That makes sense. Maybe it's me that wants to get into your panties then.
Anonymous asked: You do have nice eyelashes, but the lady at Macy's was trying to get into your panties. She's so hot for you!
expectomotherfuckingpatronum:
i think that all the limits david karp has been putting on tumblr are his little way of coaxing us out of the internet nest into the real world
it’s so sweet, see, such a fatherly thing to do
and he’s doing it in steps, like training wheels. limiting asks, then limiting posts, then trying to take away missing e…
you know, you don’t always appreciate what your...
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gigibeezy:
maryantionette:
Tonight was a shit storm
Tomorrow will be an even bigger shit storm
I hate everyone.
So wish I could be there to see it all happen.
You’re a bitch.
The girl at the makeup counter at Macy’s told me my eyelashes were amazing.
It made my day :]
Anonymous asked: Oh, God, Mary - WHAT fanfic have you been getting your sex ed from? The male erection doesn't really happen because a young witch points her wand and proclaims 'Erectus!', so don't try that, or you'll just end up looking foolish. (Not that you should have any problem causing a male erection, mind you...)
2011 is almost over. Inbox me something you've... →
when I finally have sex
some guy: now I know you're a virgin so you probably don't know much about -
me: no I read fanfiction I got this
geeisthesex:
this is lmfao
this one is 37
and this one is his nephew
just let that sink in
Anonymous asked: [cree-eeek] [shamble shamble shamble] "Zombie anon would make your phone sing 'Heavy Metal Lover', but Zombie anon doesn't have your phone number. Phooooooonnne... Phoooooonnnnnne... Braaaaaaaaaaiiinnnsss..."
Anonymous asked: You always look adorable.
Anonymous asked: Ron Howard movie starring Michael Keaton, Marisa Tomei, Glenn Close, Robert Duvall, and Randy Quaid. It's a good movie. Go watch it.
Today my aunt asked me if I had any grey eyeshadows and I pulled out three palettes and a single.
I found this more amusing than anyone else did.
I wantt o hear heavy metal lover so everyone should text me right now so I can hear it.
Anonymous asked: Tumblr says, "Then go watch 'The Paper'."
How teens and adults text
hoyitsjcbayan:
Expectations:
Teens - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff
Adults - What are you doing today? Want to hang out?
Reality:
Teens - Hey! What you doing today? Want to hang out?
Adults - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff
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escarpinsdiamant replied to your post: escarpinsdiamant replied to your photo: OMG SO…
I need to order one. There are several I want right now, especially because they’re on sale. OH WAIT JUST SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON TEXTBOOKS AND SHIT FOR MY MOM, LOLNOBRAFORME.
They have SUCH a good sale going on right now though :[
Anonymous asked: Tumblr says, "Watch 'The Blues Brothers'"
